Living a 220 life

Spiritual leadership in the home

“When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table.” (Psalm 128:2-3)

In today’s American home very few spiritual leaders exist. The men of our churches are not stepping up to fill the role they’ve been called to. When they do attempt to stand up they often go to one extreme or another; either yielding an iron fist of domestic dictatorship or sheepishly giving up upon the first sign of resistance from any family member. The Lord offers spiritual leaders some guidance and some encouraging words in Psalm 128.

The guidance for spiritual leadership begins in verse 1 when He says, “Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways.” Men, our goal as spiritual leaders in the house is #1 to fear the Lord. Our second goal is that out of our reverent fear for the Lord we walk in His ways. Similar to the safety procedure on an aircraft when you must place your own oxygen mask on before helping others, men, you must focus your own actions and thoughts to be captive to the Lord so that you may lead by example.

The encouragement for spiritual leadership begins in verse 2 and 3. We’re told that we will be happy and it shall be well with us when we eat the labor of our hands. The Lord is telling us that He knows it’s hard work for men to be the spiritual leader of the home. It’s supposed to be. God expects us to spend time in the analogous marriage fields, getting dirty, putting in hours of hard work, tilling the soil, and pruning the vines. The Lord tells us, men, if we put in the hard work tilling the soil of our marriage and cultivating a loving relationship between our wives and the Lord that she’ll be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of our home.

This must be understood: Though the man is the leader of the home, the woman is the heartbeat of the home. If your’ spiritual leadership is oppressive and abusive your home will most definitely suffer a heart attack. Likewise, with minimal or weak leadership the pulse of your home will be lost. Men, you must also understand that this means as spiritual leader you are no better than the woman; you are equals! You lead but she gives life to the home. You must love your wife and she must respect you. It’s a beautiful symbiotic relationship.

When the man is leading in love and humility the wife is a blessing to her home, bearing much fruit. Verse three also tells us when the man is leading and the wife is like a fruitful vine the children will be like olive plants all around your table. Olive plants are classy and add a bit of spice to your parties. They make things look good. If you wish to raise children who are honoring and make you proud the Lord reveals the recipe. Fear the Lord, walk in His ways, and put in the hard work to lead your family to do the same. Men, we’ve been given the burden to lead through servant hood to our family. We must humbly reject our own desires for the well-fair of our home. Men, we must become like Jesus! AMEN!

Benefits of a Godly wife

“Then Caleb said, “I will give my daughter Acsah in marriage to the one who attacks and captures Kiriath-sepher.” Othniel, the son of Caleb’s younger brother Kenaz, was the one who conquered it, so Acsah became Othniel’s wife. When Acsah married Othniel, she urged him to ask her father for an additional field. As she got down off her donkey, Caleb asked her, “What is it? What can I do for you?” She said, “Give me a further blessing. You have been kind enough to give me land in the Negev; please give me springs as well.” So Caleb gave her the upper and lower springs.” (Judges 1:12-15)

This brief look into the marriage of Othniel and Acsah reveals much about a fruitful and Godly relationship. The first lesson we can learn is from Othniel’s pursuit of Acsah. Men, we must be willing to lay down our lives for our wives. Othniel desired Acsah so much that he was willing to attempt a very difficult task that would quite possibly cost him his life. Is your wife so precious in your site that her well being is important enough for you to sacrifice your own life for her? Othniel did!

Women, Othniel fought as hard as he did in order to have a Godly woman as his wife. Learn from Acsah. When she married Othniel she urged him to ask her father for more land. Acsah was not a nag; she urged Othniel to be a better man. She supported him and became his biggest fan. Acsah immediately took on the task of building her man up into the best he could be. Acsah offered Othniel unconditional respect in response to his unconditional love for her.

Acsah also demonstrated the benefits of a Godly woman asking her father to bless her husband. Women, you must be praying for your man. Do you want your husband to be a better man? Pray for him! Do you want your family and marriage to be blessed? Pray for it! Acsah, as she got down off her donkey, is found asking her father for more blessing. Women, never stop praying for your husband.

I can testify to the benefits of a Godly wife. Beth is an amazing woman who has supported me and prayed for me. My marriage to Beth has brought me along further than I could have ever imagined. Her constant prayer offers a peace in my heart and reminds me of the true friendship I have with this Godly woman. I can confidently say that when I married Beth, as Othniel experienced with Acsah, my territory was immediately and greatly expanded.

My final note is this: Men, cherish your wives and lay down your life for them. Women, support your husbands and become their biggest fans. Pray for them and become the catalyst that expands their territory much. The Godly woman is the one who helps make her husband a Godlier man. AMEN!

Raising our children for Christ part 4

In 1 Chronicles chapter 22 David is preparing to build the Temple for the Lord. He has been told by God that he would not be the one to build it but rather his son Solomon would build it. This chapter offers the Christian parent a few nuggets of gold for raising our children for Christ. I’ll touch on a few.

“David said, “My son Solomon is young and inexperienced, and the house to be built for the Lord should be of great magnificence and fame and splendor in the sight of all the nations. Therefore I will make preparations for it.” So David made extensive preparations before his death.” (v.5) David recognizes that Solomon needs his father’s guidance in order to fulfill the mission. A key to understand David’s thinking and motivation comes when he explains what the Temple should be. David isn’t focused on Solomon being great; no, David is focused on raising Solomon up so he can better glorify the Lord. We as parents must focus on raising our children so they can better glorify Jesus Christ. David also made ample preparations before his death. We must ensure we make every effort to physically set our children up for success. Make the preparations now so they will be able to build a temple worthy of the Lord.

“Now, my son, the Lord be with you, and may you have success and build the house of the Lord your God, as he said you would.” (v.11) All too often we as parents set out to raise our children for Christ as we see a Christ-like life lived. We must live a Christ-like life as we believe it to be lived, but we must allow our children to live the life the Lord leads them on. We are called as parents to raise our children to love Jesus and follow His commands. Don’t place your children in a box. Allow them to freely follow the Lord.

“Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God.” (v.19a) There comes a time when we’ve laid the foundation and we must charge our children. We must be prepared to give our blessing and send them out. Many parents don’t understand the importance of bestowing a blessing upon their children. Parents, your children want your blessing. They need it. Raise them to love Jesus then give them your blessing and send them out. If your children have already gone out without your blessing it’s not too late, bless them. Let them know they are blessed by you. All for God’s glory! AMEN!

Raising our children for Christ part 3

“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)

If your actions speak louder than words, what are your actions saying? Do you have a light shining before all men that leads them to praise your Father in heaven? Knowing that more is caught than taught in the spiritual growth of children, we must consciously develop their lesson plan and present it on the blackboard of life. Make no mistake; the lesson must be clear in your actions because that is the lesson that will be learned.

Children are very vigilant and will see through any feeble attempt to teach them something you’re not already living. If you expect your children to be honest yet conduct your own business in a dishonest manner, the dishonest model will be followed. If you desire your children to love the Lord yet you only give the Lord your time on Sunday, you should expect a lukewarm response from your children as well.

Developing a lesson plan for your children should be prayerfully thought out and implemented. Consider the traits and characteristics you wish to be developed in your child and then implement them in your own life. Be creative. Think of ways to demonstrate those traits in your everyday life. Be real as well. Remember, children will see the façade if you teach one thing but cave under pressure. And remember, the point is to develop a light that leads all men (and children) to praise their Father in heaven.

Raising our children for Christ part 2

“The greeting is in my own hand—Paul” (v.21) “My love be with you all in Christ Jesus. Amen.”(v.24) 1 Corinthians 16: 21, 24

Having established the necessity of quantity and quality time in order to raise our children for Christ, the question emerges: What if I’m not able to spend time with my children? With the increase of careers hinging on world travel and extended business trips (such as a one year military deployment) children are often left without the presence of one or both parents. So if you’re the parent who is unable to be present with your children are you forced to resign your responsibility of raising your children for Christ? No!

Paul offers an example of a spiritual parent who travels often. Though Paul can’t be physically present with all of his spiritual children, he demonstrates a true love and concern for their spiritual well being. His first letter to the Church at Corinth is the example I used, but Paul regularly wrote to his children. Though Paul couldn’t spend time with his children, he certainly spent time on his children.

Paul regularly prayed for his spiritual babes, wrote them letters pertaining to their spiritual growth, and often told them that he loved them. Certainly there was no doubt in their minds that Paul loved them and desired for them to love Jesus Christ as well. Parents, we live in an un-perfect world that sometimes causes us to be apart from our beloved children. However, we must never lose sight that we are responsible for raising our children for Christ. One day we’ll be together again and able to spend eternity in the presence of our Lord. AMEN!